By Tori 
All bodies are different but that doesn’t mean any body type isn’t good. Everyone is beautiful in their own way simply because beauty cannot be defined. Feeling insecure about your body is normal and almost everyone experiences body insecurity. So many things and factors come together that bring about body insecurity; here are some:
- Criticism from our peers. Some of your peers might build a wall of insecurity in you from their toxic and mean comments. These are mostly masked as jokes and banter so it can be difficult to process what was said against you.
- Memories of being bullied and teased as a child.
- People on social media with the ‘perfect bodies’ being ‘praised’ just for being the way they are. Those praises and body trends make the rest of the world feel like if they do not look like the models, they aren’t beautiful. It’s no problem if you fit the beauty standards- this is just to recognize the effect of what happens online, especially to people who already suffer from body image issues.
- Criticism from family.
- Criticism from strangers.
- Body insecurity being experienced by people we look up to.
If you experienced any of the above, it’s easy to feel insecure about your body but there are more reasons to be happy about yourself than to be insecure about yourself. It’s time for all bodies to be normalized and it will only be normalized if you:
First and foremost believe that you are beautiful because everything starts in the mind. Highlight the parts of your body that you love and don’t focus on the parts that make you feel insecure. With the right attitude, you’ll start loving those parts you didn’t like much before, and that way you’ll gain confidence. Those moments when you look in the mirror and you feel beautiful, take that moment to affirm yourself out loud in the mirror. Bank those moments, etch them in your memory, and use them when you feel low reaffirm yourself.
Deal with toxic friends. Stand up to your friends and tell them to stop hurting you and if you can’t stand up to them and speak your heart, sorry to say but they shouldn’t be your friends. Catch those jokes. They are making you uncomfortable, so do the same and call them out. If they continue even after telling them to stop severally then you might consider dropping them or distancing yourself. Having someone constantly reminding you that you aren’t beautiful is unhealthy for your mental health especially when you are trying to gain confidence.
Ignore strangers with bad intentions. Strangers who would look at you badly or even insult you will always be there no matter who you are or how you look. No matter where you go there will always be a person who would hate something about you and that shouldn’t make you feel bad. People always hate from a lower place and people are always going through something. Most of the time especially coming from a stranger is not personal. Staying unbothered is the key to clapping back to those strangers. As long as you are confident, nothing they say or do will affect you.
If you were bullied or teased as a child and that still affects you till now, you belong to a large percentage of people who went through that. Growing up in that setting must be very difficult because you were just a child and you were being singled out because of how you looked. That was in the past and there is nothing that can change that. Yes, the anger, sadness, and humiliation might still be there but, right now, you’re all grown up. You’re a different person and clinging to past events has never been good for anyone. You’re a beautiful person and those childhood memories don’t define you or who you are right now. You have to heal, rise above those negative moments, and try your best to shake off the negativity. It might be hard but it’s nothing time and intention can’t fix. It takes personal commitment and forgiveness from within because withholding those emotions won’t enable you to move on and have the confidence you need.
Criticism from your family members is probably the worst because you live/lived with them. It can be so hurtful because the person you love is criticizing you and you wonder,’ If they don’t think I am ok, who will think that?’. I know it’s hard to stand up to some members of our family because family dynamics are different and some are very difficult. However, just speak your heart to them and let them know they are hurting you. If they don’t hear you at first keep on reminding them because, unlike friends, it’s not as easy to just let go of family.
Lastly, if you’re body insecure because someone you looked up to was insecure themselves, remember, you are a completely different human being who can change their perspective and attitude. Being confident and comfortable in your skin is a personal choice and nobody should make you feel like you don’t have a choice. The only choice is for you to decide what you want for yourself.
Everyone is beautiful in their own way, always remember that. You are beautiful. The only person you should try to convince that you are beautiful is yourself. That is sadly the biggest challenge but has the biggest reward once achieved.
-Tori.