Friendship series, part 1: Who is a friend?

I am so excited to introduce a new series. It’s a friendship series! I hold friendships very dearly in my life, and I love talking about friends and friendships. The series will dissect the world of friendships and we will discuss everything; the meaning of friends, boundaries, conflicts, resolutions and so much more. I can’t wait to delve into this; to learn more about friendships and hear about more experiences. This is the first post where we talk about ‘Who is a friend?’. I hope this read sparks some insight and you are more than welcome to leave your opinion in the comments below or in our Instagram DMs which are always open to Roomies(Our community name according to you guys on Instagram). Enjoy 🙂

We all desire to have healthy relationships and friendships are not an exception. Most of us want to have friends who play various roles in our lives and bring value to us. The title of this post is: ‘Who’s a friend?’- a silent dilemma which fortunately and unfortunately, doesn’t have a one-size-fits-all answer. 

In my opinion, a friend is who you say they are in your life by how much access and information you give them. A friend is someone you cherish and they cherish you back, someone you can be yourself around, someone who appreciates you and values your presence in their life, someone you can celebrate your wins with and is there for you during dark days, someone who knows you and understands your life dynamic, someone who respects you and your boundaries, someone who is not quick to judge but listens, discerns with grace, someone who understands your humor, someone who aligns with your core values and so much more. 

That’s the criteria I personally use to define friendships. The word friend means a lot and I don’t just throw it around to everyone I meet. I value my friendships and take my time and effort to nurture and build them. The friendships we have and experience are what we make them. You have the power to choose who you interact with and allow access to you, so why not choose people who bring value to you? Friends should bring you peace, joy, and comfort. This is not to say that there won’t be some issues along the way, but just like any relationship that we want to keep, we work on it and grow in the friendship.

I would recommend that all of us think about who is a friend to us. Do your friends at least fit most of the attributes want? Do they align with your core values? Do they bring positivity into your life? Are they in your life because intentionally or did you find yourselves as friends? Remember, it’s not a one-size-fits-all answer. Friends are people who directly interact with you so you get to decide, you are the author of your story; decide who the characters are. The world can sometimes get cold, and difficult to navigate. There is already so much to deal with, therefore, the people we choose to be in our lives should not be a source of pain but a safe space and a source of happiness.

On the contrary, it’s okay to have friends whom you are not very deep or emotional with. I also choose to have some of my friendships that way. That is why I keep emphasizing that it is not a one-size-fits-all answer. You can have some people just as party friends or friends you occasionally meet. As long as you call someone a friend( a person you choose to welcome in your life), don’t let them be a source of pain or discomfort in your life. Let them be a source of value for you even if that value is fun and a good time!

My hope is that the point is home. If not, we will continue with the conversation about friends and friendships in this series. Comment below what you have gotten from this post, and any additional opinions, let us open the discussion and conversation. There will be more interaction on this on Instagram, (make sure you follow) and I look forward to hearing your thoughts on this and updating you guys when the next post is up.

-Tori

By Tori

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