By Tori 
Adulthood is a series of learning and making mistakes. Learning never ends and with that, here is part two of the things I have learned as a new adult:
You are not missing out on anything: This one took me the longest to learn and accept. For context, I am an introvert, have few friends, and live with my parents. So you know when things happen, the FOMO is real. It was not until a few months after I turned twenty that I can say I properly experienced outside. That means I sat through two years of burning curiosity since I turned eighteen. Everyone was outside, and they seemed to be having the time of their lives and I was convinced that I was missing out on something, like some extreme joy and freedom that lay on the other side. However, when I got outside and lived, I realized it was just that, life. It wasn’t a life-changing experience that would transform me. I’m not saying it was not fun; it was and I still look forward to going out but I had created this big thing in my mind of what I believed I was missing out on which was not the case.
People will hurt you just because: this I learned not through my own experience but the realization I had was that sometimes people hurting you has nothing to do with you. I may even say, most of the time. I used to believe that when people hurt you, it is because you must have done something- whether you know it or not, they have to be justified in their actions. Wildly, the truth is that some people just do things simply out of malice and spite. There may be some slight reason behind their actions but that is just one of the things I have had to be aware of in my adulthood.
Always be alert!: thank goodness I am naturally very vigilant and aware of my surroundings but as an adult especially living in Nairobi, I have always been alert. In everything you do, everyone you meet, everywhere you go; do not be quick to let your guard down. Especially when out with friends where you feel safe, have a few drinks in, and have a good vibe going; never let yourself reach the point where you are entrusting your security and well-being in the hands of other people. Trust yourself the most- when you are out. You are the only one who has your best interest at heart and remember to always trust your instinct.
Develop a thick skin and learn to stand up for yourself: Speak up! Speak up! Speak up! You are your own defender and voice. Do not let an injustice against you happen in your control. Do not people speak against you in your presence. Ask questions and call people out. The only way people can listen to you is if you make a sound. Respectfully of course. In addition, I learned that most things aren’t personal and people are going through their problems. You could be crying because someone is yelling at you but maybe it is because they hadn’t eaten all day. You can’t carry all the burdens and emotions people lay on you. Pick and choose your battles wisely. Not everything has to be taken up. Once you learn that, your life becomes easier.
Know who you are: Honestly, I can’t say enough a lot about the importance of knowing yourself. I’m going to need a whole blog post and more if I’m going to exhaust all I have to say. If you can’t say who you are, others will say it for you. If you can’t define who you are, the world will define it for you. Who are you? What are your values? Who are your close ones? What are your dreams? Who are your role models? What are your priorities? Those are just some of the questions you need to answer to know yourself better. If you really want to thrive, know yourself and stick by it. Understand when to say no and say yes. When to go out, when to stay home, and more. I know you know what I mean. Identify mistakes and learn from them. Not knowing yourself can potentially be the worst mistake you can make as an adult! Now you know, get to know yourself and make life choices that align with who you are.
At this point, everything seems important but all these I believe are set up to help us protect ourselves. Let us know what some of the things you have learned in adulthood or some of the changes you noticed. Be sure to follow my Instagram page for updates and Pinterest for a personal photo collection!
-Tori